


Rules For Naruto to Live By

by J_Ackles



Series: Rules [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy, Engagement, Humor, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Same-Sex Marriage, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 21:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Ackles/pseuds/J_Ackles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rules for Sasuke Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki to live by. They each have their own set.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rule #1: Make sure partner is not a teme.

**Rule #1: Make sure partner is not a teme.**

Naruto looked over at Sasuke, who was minding his own business as he read a family scroll in a chair near the window, and grinned.

Too late for that, he thought placing an X by the rule.

He looked up and back at Sasuke who was now looking at him in a weird and uncomfortable way that only meant one thing: playtime.

Naruto watched the sly, sexy bastard walk over to him, and smirk evilly.

Next thing he knew he was being thrown over Sasuke's shoulder, and taken upstairs.

He smiled as he thought of Rule #1.

Sasuke could be a teme as long as he was Naruto's teme. . .

And didn't try to kill him again.

Failed.


	2. Rule #2: Make sure teme won't cheat.

**Rule #2: Make sure teme won't cheat.**

Naruto laughed at this one. Sasuke didn't even get along with the well known friends they had, or Naruto had and Sasuke just happened to be around, and this rule wanted him to worry about Naruto being with a total stranger.

Impossible. . . But it wouldn't hurt to check.

Naruto followed and stared at Sasuke, discreetly, of course, who was surrounded by fan girls, and the odd fan boy dotting the rampant crowd every now and then.

Naruto sighed to himself. Sasuke could easily cheat on him if the stupid idiotic bastard wanted to, and could also pick from an array of villagers, because according to the crowd, and various Sasuke dedicated fan clubs he had a lot of choices.

Geez, Sasuke just had to be a sexy teme!

Naruto went back to staring when he saw the peaceful look on Sasuke's face morph into the Uchiha glare, and laughed when most of the crowd left. How could these "choices" think that they'd survive Sasuke if the "Glare" scared them?  
When there was only a quarter of brave souls left he smiled wider when he saw Sasuke activate the Sharingan knocking the rest out into hopefully just a light sleep unlike last time.

When they were all down, Naruto included, because he forgot not to look Sasuke in the eyes when he had on his Sharingan, Sasuke stood up and walked through the bodies littering the floor to where he heard his dobe fall out of a tree.

Seriously, he thought lifting Naruto onto his shoulder; Naruto should work on his stalking skills.

When Naruto woke up in the darkened bedroom he turned to look see Sasuke sleeping peacefully beside him face impassive as ever, to Naruto's annoyance for some reason.

Than he frowned as stupid Rule #2 crept its way back to the front of his thoughts.

Sasuke would never cheat on him, because he knew better than to get Naruto angry.

Plus, this antisocial, severely misogynistic, often scary, and all powerful bastard of a teme was all his.

Check.


	3. Rule #3: Make sure teme can cook.

**Rule #3: Make sure teme can cook.**

As Naruto looked at the rule he couldn't help but wonder why he always called Sasuke teme.

Make no mistake Sasuke was a bastard. He just wondered why he never called Sasuke by his name other than when they. . .

Ugh, he couldn't even say the word. When they had "playtime".

Wait, what was the rule again?

Something about Sasuke-bastard cooking.

Getting off the couch he walked towards the Uchiha training grounds where he knew Sasuke spent most of his time.

As he walked there he made himself promise to at least try not to call Sasuke anything else but his name.

"Hey Sasuke!" he yelled silently adding the word bastard out of habit. "Do you want to cook some lunch?"

"No. Why can't you do it?" Sasuke asked kicking a tree that had a picture that vaguely looked like Naruto, well, to Naruto it looked like Naruto.

"Really?" Naruto asked smiling. "You liked the dinner I made for you that much?" To be honest Naruto thought that it wouldn't be good, and was ready for Sasuke to be a whiny bastard so he could get his revenge, after the teme convinced him to cook that night, he would ignore that stupid cranky asshole bastard and keep his legs closed for a nice long time.

So when Sasuke had told him it was good he was happy, so happy that he tackled Sasuke to the floor.

They would have "celebrated" right there, but for some reason Sasuke had insisted that they both brush their teeth before they did anything.

He was brought out of his lovely musings of that day when a depressed looking Sasuke placed a hard hadnd on his shoulder.

"No, it- its my turn."

For a second Naruto thought Sasuke was getting sick as his face turned to a pale green, and how his shudders wold shudder every now and them.

Was he missing something?

Naruto sat at the table and looked at his plate.

"Onigiri?" he asked looking at his plate incredulously. Was he supposed to be impressed by this?

"Just eat it. I put something special in the middle of it for you."

Naruto took a bite from the top and saw something stringy. Worms?

He looked at Sasuke who urged him to go on, and so he took another bite totally ready to kick Sasuke's ass.

With that bite he tasted Heaven. Ramen.

He looked up at Sasuke to see that annoying smirk on Sasuke's face, and he smiled.

"You do know what I like."

"Well, your love for that dish is hard to not notice, and even harder to ignore."

Naruto couldn't help it when he heard the reason that may or may have not been a diss, and tackled Sasuke to the floor.

"Sasuke," he began nuzzling Sasuke's neck, "these are the times when I realize why I fell in love with you."

Naruto felt Sasuke tense beneath him when he realized what had just happened, and what he had just said. What had come out of his big mouth into the air, into Sasuke's ears, and probably marinating in Sasuke's brain too so it could be analyzed in every way possible, because Sasuke just loved thinking.

He jumped of Sasuke, and began to run, taking a couple of ramen onigiri with him, of course, because did you really expect him to go empty handed when they were right there with ramen INSIDE them?

Naruto was still in the tree watching clones of Sasuke search for him.

Leaning against the tree he slapped his forehead. How could he have said that?

Kami, he was an idiot."Naruto?" said all the Sasuke's as they gathered under tree looking up at him.

"Get away."

"Naruto, its okay. I'm not going to get mad. It just shocked me since I'm not used to you saying that word. Plus, I kind of liked it."

"Geez Sasuke, how can you be so insensitive? It's what I do, but I failed. I don't deserve ramen, Sasuke didn't think it was his place to tell Naruto that he did indeed take some of the onigiri with ramen in them, said Naruto totally forgetting earlier, and what he had said about his promise to Sasuke.

"I'm insensitive when you're the one who calls me a bastard all the time, and the first you don't actually calling me by my REAL, the one I was born with, name you get dejected and depressed," Sasuke said summarizing everything that he surmised that was wrong right now.

"See you do understand my problem," Naruto said letting go of the tree, that was the only thing that was holding him up at the moment, to fall forward.

And Sasuke, being the type to be ready for anything, especially being with Naruto, held out his arms in preparation to catch Naruto.

Catching the blond in his arms Sasuke instinctively held the blond close to him wrapping his arms around his frame.

"Since I DON'T understand why you're overreacting I'll just pretend that I never heard you call me 'Sasuke'. Is that good enough?"

"Thanks Sasuke," said Naruto extremely relieved as he tried to get out Sasuke's unreleasing hold. "Can you let me go now?"

"No," Sasuke said walking back to the main house . "Did you like the food I made?"

"Yeah. We should take turns cooking," Naruto said relaxing into Sasuke's body as he became focused on something else that led his interest away from his entrapment.

Had Naruto looked back at Sasuke he would have seen him pale, even more than he already was, and the pained look that crossed his features.

"Naruto I think that you should just relax. No cooking for you. Okay?" Sasuke said panicking a little.

After he had seen Tsunade last time when Naruto had "cooked" something for him that he was tricked by blue eyes into eating he had been told by the medic-nin that if he tried to risk his life and put himself in danger by consuming such a deadly toxin he was going to die. He should also rethink having sex with Naruto until Naruto was incapacitated before he decided to go to the hospital.

"Oh yeah!" Naruto said remembering what Tsunade had told him. "Tsunade says I use too much flavor. Honestly you're such a weakling teme," Naruto said laughing.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "If you say so, but don't you want to celebrate?" Sasuke asked whispering in his ear as they walked up the stairs.

"When did we get here?" Naruto asked perplexed.

"Don't worry about that Naruto., but aren't you forgetting something? I celebrated wit you last time," Naruto heard Sasuke say kissing his cheek in a way that gave Naruto a hint, because he hadn't realized before, what kind of "celebration" Sasuke had in mind.

It was the kind that made Naruto happy to have Kyubi healing him.

He yelped when he felt Sasuke's hand squeeze his ass before dropping him on the bed.

Looking at Sasuke who was now taking off his shirt and laying himself on top of him he sighed with a smile, and wrapped his arms around the others neck.

"You'll find any reason to 'celebrate' won't you?"

Check.


	4. Rule #4: Too dirty to register in Naruto's mind as something other than 'beeps.'

**Rule #4: Too dirty to register in Naruto's mind as something other than 'beeps.'**

Naruto read the rule, and his face became flushed with the color red. He felt something crawl up his throat and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Wiping his mouth off he flushed the toilet and wondered who the hell wrote these rules especially this one! He took the page and threw in the toilet flushing it to bad rule Heaven. No. This rule deserved Hell.

Oh Kami! He didn't even know if he was cruel enough to beeep to beeeeeeeeep beep beeeeeeep beeeeep to Sasuke and beeeeeeep beeeeeeep beeeeeep beeeeeeeeeep just for tis stupid rule. Especially the part about beeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeep animals and beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeep ramen beeep Iruka & Kakashi. And most importantly not even beeeeeeeeep beeeep beeeeeeep the Rookie Nine and Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari or to even try get Sasuke to attempt to beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeep the hokage who still hated him.

Naruto flushed. There was a lot of dirty words in that rule.

Suddenly feeling dirty he whipped his clothes off throwing them away, because they were a witness to "that" rule and jumped in the shower.

So as he rubbed and scrubbed himself clean with hot water and soap he heard Sasuke come into the shower with him.

Before Sasuke could ask if he could join, more out of courtesy, because he wasn't getting out with Naruto all nice and wet in there, Naruto hugged him close.

"I'm sorry Sasuke," he said rubbing the others back, "I just want you to know that I would never ever do that to you."

"That's good to know," Sasuke said as his hands traveled down Naruto's back. . .

"Hey! I'm apologizing!" Naruto yelled trying to pull back.

"I'm trying to help you make it up to me for whatever you were apologizing for," Sasuke replied lifting the blond up and pushing him against the wall. "See I'm helping you out, so, why don't you just be quiet and let us reconcile."

Naruto was over Sasuke shoulder clean and tired. Maybe he should lengthen the ti-

"Ow!" he yelled grabbing his ass. "Did you just pinch me?"

"I know what you were thinking," Sasuke said throwing him on the bed.

Naruto looked at the clock.

"You cheater! You did that to me and it hadn't even been six hours!"

"No Naruto," Sasuke said kissing up Naruto thigh, "that wasn't cheating. That was us reconciling after you apologized. This," he said biting into the soft flesh, " is the six hour mark sex."

As Sasuke began kissing him again in. . . places as he began to do, um, "stuff" to him Naruto wondered whether he should rethink not doing Rule #4.


End file.
